When working with couples on their wedding invitations, one of the first questions that almost always comes up is how to word the invitations. Every wedding is different and there are so many unique situations out there that it can be rather complicated to determine exactly how to word your invitations. Plus, let's be honest, it is probably the first time that many people have to think through what a formal invitation even looks like and might be the only one you ever send!
I almost always default to Emily Post as my starting point for invitation wording and go from there. The reason I say that is this is your wedding day and what is most important is that you are comfortable with the way guests are invited to your wedding. So for me, Emily Post is a perfect starting place and then we alter the wording to match what works best for you. My goal is always to make sure your invitations reflect you and your day.
The things that absolutely must be included on your invitation are - the host, an invitation, the name of the couple, details (date, time, location) and reception information. After that, the rest of it can be tweaked to make sure it accurately reflects your style.
So let's talk through each of those:
THE HOST
This one always seems to cause the most anxiety for couples - how to accurately reflect who the host is without offending anyone that you love and care about. A few examples are below, ordered from traditional to a few less formal options:
1. {Bride's Parents - married} - Mr. and Mrs. John Smith...
2. {Bride's Parents - divorced} - Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
3. {Bride's Parents - widowed} - Mrs. Jane Smith and the late Mr. John Smith
4. {Bride and Groom's Parents - married} - Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. David Jones...
5. {Bride and Groom} - Together with their families (or parents)....
THE INVITATION
Typically, the formal option below is used for marriages that occur in a place of worship. A side note, you may see some invitations using the British spelling of "honour" which is an option for more formal invitations.
1. {Formal} - request the honor of your presence at the marriage of...
2. {Less formal} - invite you to joyfully share in the celebration of the marriage of...
3. {Less formal} - request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of...
NAME OF THE COUPLE
The bride's name always comes first, followed by the groom's name immediately afterwards. One question that always comes up here is middle names - formal wording would say to include them but this really comes down to your personal preference and the way the invitation is worded. Another question is how to add in the groom's parents names if they aren't hosting. Typically this is done in Example 1 below by adding "son of Mr. and Mrs. David Jones" below the groom's name. Here are a few examples:
1. {Bride's parents hosting} - use bride's first and middle name ONLY and groom's first, middle and LAST name
2. {Bride and groom parents hosting) - use bride and groom first and middle names only
(no last names because they were already written above with the parents names)
3. {Bride and groom hosting) - use bride and groom first and last names (middle names optional)
DETAILS
The first details to include are the date and the time which should both be spelled out. The day of the week and the month are capitalized, but not the year. Here are a few formal wedding invitation etiquette notes:
1. There is no "and" in two thousand eighteen
2. Any numbers over twenty should be hyphenated (e.g., twenty-two)
3. "Half after" rather than "half past" should be used to indicate a half hour time
4. Phrases like "in the afternoon" or "in the evening" are not required
Ceremony location, including the city and state (not the zip code) should be included on the invitation. State's should be spelled out, not abbreviated. The street address is an optional component and really depends on your location. Think - can my guests easily enter this location into google and find the right place? If the answer is no - the address is probably helpful to make sure your guests get there on time.
RECEPTION
If the reception is at the same venue as the ceremony, typically "reception to follow" is included on the invitation. If the reception is at a different location, any mention of the reception is typically left off of the invitation and included in a separate "reception" insert card in your wedding invitation suite. Another question that often comes up here is attire - if the ceremony and reception are at the same place - attire can be added to the invitation. If the ceremony and reception are in different locations, typically attire goes on the reception card.
I know that is a ton to think about - but the good thing is we will take this step by step as we design your wedding invitations! Below are a few examples of the way past brides have used the above guidelines to develop invitations that worked for their days.
